19 pick up lines Miroku could use on Sango
by sesshygirl3
Summary: full title: 19 pick up lines miroku could use on sango... that'd never work. title kinda says it all, eh? oneshot mirsan... kinda. wierd twist at the end.


19 pick up lines Miroku could use on Sango…that never work

Hi everybody! This the most hentai story I'll probably ever write, the title kinda says it all but in case you don't get it this is a fic about pick up lines Miroku could use on Sango. And of course, they all end in the same way. "HENTAI!" (thwack) this is dedicated to my friend Steph because I got most of the idea's for this story from her website. THANK YOU STEPH SOOOOOOO MUCH! Also, I'd like to thank my hentai mind for coming up with this fic. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own InuYasha… or Miroku at that because Sango would kill me.

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1. Miroku walked over to Sango and sat down next to her. "How do you feel today Sango?"

"Fine" She replied casually.

"I asked how you felt, not how you looked!" Miroku replied, smiling innocently letting his hands wander down to Sango's bottom.

"HENTAI!" Sango screamed slapping him across the face.

2. "Sango, if I told you, you have a beautiful body would you hold it against me?" Miroku asked reaching out to touch her chest. As soon as Sango saw him reach out her boomerang bone found its way onto his head. "Hentai!" she yelled as her weapon made contact with his head.

3. "Sango, that's a beautiful kimono you're wearing today" Miroku complimented her.

"Thanks Miroku, but I wear it every day."

"True, but do you know where it would look better?" he replied.

"No, where?" Sango said, clueless.

"On the bedroom floor" he said smiling, and another bump appeared on his head.

4. "Sango, do you have a fever?"

"No, why?" Sango replied.

"Because you look VERY hot from over here" Sango throws a rock at him.

5. "Sango, come sit on my lap so we can get things straight between us." Miroku inquires. He is pelted with rocks.

6. "Sango!" Miroku cried out suddenly.

"What is it?" she replied.

"Do you know what'd look really good on you?"

"What?" Sango said suspiciously.

"Me!" Miroku said moving closer to Sango only to run into her boomerang bone.

7. "Sango, do you sleep on your stomach?" Miroku questioned.

"No, why?"

"Can I?"

"NO!" Sango swings hiraikotsu down on Miroku.

8. "Sango you have a beautiful smile. It's a shame that's not all you're wearing." Sango smacks Miroku across the face.

9. "Oh Sango" Miroku sighed leaning against her shoulder. Sango's face started burning read in embarrassment. "All those curves and me with no brakes." Miroku said, stealthily placing his hand on her chest squeezing gently.

"**HENATI!!!!!!!!" **Sango roared, ramming her fist in his mouth.

10. "I wish the word of the days was legs." Miroku said dreamily.

"Why?" Sango asked curiously.

"Because I'd **love** to spread the word!" Miroku said cheerfully.

"Ugh! You're so disgusting at times you know that? Someone-" Sango was cut off when she felt a rubbing sensation on her bottom.

"HENTAI!!!!!!!" she screamed kicking the monk in the 'forbidden zone'

11. Miroku waves his finger motioning Sango to come over to him. She comes. "Look Sango, I just made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with the rest of my body!" Sango beats the crap out of him.

12. Miroku walks up behind Sango and wraps his arms around her waist and places his chin on her head. "Sango… I think you father was a baker…"

"Why? You know he was an exterminator like me…" Sango replied a little shocked at the sudden embrace.

"Because Sango…" Miroku answered removing his arms room her waist. "You've got a nice set of buns" he said while rubbing his hand up and down her bottom.

It's too gruesome to explain what happened to Miroku after this one.

13. Sango has just climbed out of the hot springs with a towel rapped around herself when she comes face to face with Miroku. "Sango, I've lost my towel, can I borrow yours?" He asked innocently.

The next thing Miroku knew he was flying into the now vacant hot spring as Sango stormed away.

14. "Sango, I love your legs so much I'm going to name them!" Miroku gestured cheerfully.

"You're sick." Sango responded wearily.

"Ok, this ones Christmas and this ones New Years, can I see you in between holidays?"

"Ewww! Hentai!" She yelled slapping him across the face.

15. Miroku goes up to Sango, licks his finger, and wipes it on her shoulder.

"Augh! Miroku what'd did you do that for?!" Sango cried out disgusted.

"Now now Sango! Just come into the hut with me and we'll get you out of those wet clothes!" He said happily taking Sango's shoulders and steering her in the direction of Kaede's hut.

"Get off me you sicko!" Sango screamed flipping him over her shoulder and stepping square on his stomach.

16. "Sex is a killer." Miroku says to Sango. She twitches. "Do you want to die happy?" he asks. Sango punches him.

17. "Sango if I could rewrite the alphabet I would put U and I together, and U in between F and CK." Sango turns her head slowly towards the monk before down right beating him to a pulp with her hiraikotsu.

18. "Sango, you know the saying you are what you eat?"

"Yes, why?"

"Then I could be you by morning!" he says gleefully.

Suddenly Miroku has a black eye and a bloody nose. Wow. It's magic!

19. "Sango, will you bear my child?" Miroku asks.

"No." she answers coldly.

"Could we have fun practicing?" He asked again.

Sango shoots him a dirty look "Ugh, why must you- Well, actually… Hmm…" She shrugs.

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Haha… I hope you guys had fun reading this. I just had to end it like that. Sango actually considers. Funny…

Ciao

Sesshygirl3 0(-.-)0 my monkey! Dig the monkey!


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